MAGA Has Broken (Leopards Imploding)
When Your Git Repository Goes Full Leopard
In the latest WAG TEAM dirge, MAGA Has Broken (Leopards Imploding), we explore what happens when "America First" meets "Error 404: Domestic Talent Not Found." Watch as nationalist dreams collide with global talent markets, leading to the ultimate dystopian showdown: a Mount Rushmore of denial and desperate H-1B visa applications.
The Players
Starring:
Silicon Valley eating itself faster than a Python script in a recursive loop
A mountain of MAGA hats with increasingly desperate debug requests in multiple languages
Frannie's withering stare at failed unit tests and failed logic
Truth Social's codebase (now with 100% more "¿Qué pasó?")
One spectacularly broken system (but everything's fine we're totally fine this is fine)
YankoBoop
Here it is. MAGA has broken. Leopards Imploding.
Special Appearances By:
American_Exceptionalism.exe (status: catastrophically crashed)
Venture capital's dying gasps in various offshore accounts
Three very confused coding bootcamp graduates still trying to define "woke"
Several startups discovering that xenophobia doesn't scale
Phoebe, who has seen enough failed deployments for one lifetime
The Situation
Timothy Snyder called it: the Leopards Eating Faces Party discovers that maybe starting with their own tech talent wasn't the best strategy. Meanwhile, "America First" meets "Compile Error" and discovers that nationalism doesn't fix broken code.
Behind the Music
This isn't just a song - it's a crash log of American exceptionalism trying to debug itself in Hindi. Featuring special guest appearances by cognitive dissonance and several venture capitalists attempting to pivot without admitting they were wrong about everything.
#WagTeam #SelfPwned #MobyJudgesYourSourceCode #LearnToCodeInAnyLanguageButEnglishApparently
December 2024
MAGA Has Broken (Leopards Imploding)
MAGA has broken, like the first grifting
Leopards imploding, eating their own
Praise for the irony, praise for the karma
Praise for the chickens coming on home
Sweet is the coding from places they hate now
Like the first harvesters they drove away
Praise for the techbros suddenly learning
Talent won’t bend to the games that they play
Mine is the X-post, mine is the gaslighting
Born of the networks immigrants made
Rage with confusion, blame competition
While all of our servers are outsource-displayed
Who’ll debug Truth now? (Programmers in Mexico!)
Who’ll save our startups? (Not sending their best!)
Leopards discovered they're starving for talent
When all the faces they ate were their best
Elon is tweeting from servers in Mumbai
Truth Social’s code team speaks Spanish today
Praise for the patriots slowly discovering
Racism’s bad for the old ROI
MAGA’s now broken, the base is revolting
Coding in boot camps didn’t quite save the day
Praise for the venture caps finally learning
Hate’s a bad business model to pay
“Error 1776: American_Exceptionalism.exe has crashed
Warning: Cognitive dissonance levels reaching critical mass
Alert: Foreign talent successfully migrating to Canada
Critical Error: Startup funding not found in /usr/local/maga/
Emergency import from banned_countries.json initiated…”
def final_irony():
return "Your replacement theory...
just got replaced..."