Wall Street Meets Fanboy Fascism
How 'Murrica's Financial Kingdom Got Handed to Some Shxitter Engineers and Stuff
23 February 2025. JJ-Taxninny. Democracy on Hospice (DOH!)
Welcome back to another Sunday edition of Democracy on Hospice (DOH!), where original Wag Team songs meet a scathingly brilliant analysis of the week's most depressing democratic decline. This week: The Treasury Department's disturbing transformation into Elon Musk's personal playground.
MIXTAPE ON THE TITANIC: More of the Soundtrack to Democracy's Demise
Before we dive into the disastrous details of how America's financial infrastructure is being handed to ex-Sxhitter engineers with the financial acumen of a drunken casino gambler, let's set the mood with this week's Wag Team hit.
"The Ballad of Bessent the Bootlicker"
Yes. I made you a YankoBoop. And it’s right here.
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Treasury SOS: Wall Street Cred Meets MAGA Madness
When Scott Bessent was nominated as Treasury Secretary, the collective sigh of relief from financial markets was almost audible. Lookie here! A seemingly reasonable choice! A Wall Street veteran who had even worked with the GOP's favorite boogeyman, George Soros. The Senate confirmed him with bipartisan support (68-29, including 16 Democrats), and the business community nodded approvingly. 1
Jeffrey Sonnenfeld, president of the Yale Chief Executive Institute, called the nomination "a huge relief," describing Bessent as "reasonable and pragmatic." 2
Reasonable and pragmatic.
Those words now ring as hollow as the promise that tax cuts “pay for themselves.”
Fast forward two months. Bessent has allowed what journalists describe as an unprecedented breach of Treasury security protocols. Elon Musk's so-called "Department of Government Efficiency" (DOGE) team – a group with no official government standing and zero financial regulatory experience – has been granted access to Treasury payment systems. For real. And for those folks still in the “we didn’t hear anything about that” camp: NO. NO. You do not get to hide behind the “we didn’t know” thing. At any time, you are free to invite new sources into your YouTube (or TikTok or whatever) feed.
Five Former Treasury Secretaries Sound the Alarm
Five former Treasury Secretaries – Robert Rubin, Lawrence Summers, Timothy Geithner, Jacob Lew, and Janet Yellen – with experience spanning decades of U.S. economic leadership – co-authored a li’l opinion piece in The New York Times: "Our Democracy Is Under Siege." 3
They didn't mince words about the dangers of giving Musk's team access to Treasury systems:
"They lack training and experience to handle private, personal data—like Social Security numbers and bank account information. Their power subjects America's payments system and the highly sensitive data within it to the risk of exposure, potentially to our adversaries. And our critical infrastructure is at risk of failure if the code that underwrites it is not handled with due care."
If that warning doesn't send chills down your spine, perhaps this will: According to the Associated Press (oops, kicked out of the Oval because they hurt Dear Leader’s feelers by calling the Gulf of Less Educated States the “Gulf of Mexico”) Bessent's assurances that the DOGE kids had only "read-only access" for audit purposes were misleading (at best). More likely those assurances are just outright lies.
Outright lies. Like most of the shit spewing out the mouth of Dear Leader.
Read and write access. Only one of them was fired from a previous job for divulging secrets. Nothing to worry about here. Liberal snowflake just ranting and raving and having another episode.
The AP reports that "Officials working with Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency sought access to the U.S. Department of Treasury payment system to stop money from flowing to the U.S. Agency for International Development." 4
Translation: Unelected tech bros cut off funding to America's primary foreign aid agency. No congressional approval. No nuthin’. Federal law and diplomatic relationships be damned. But that’s old old news at this point.
That (USAID shit) was a bunch of OTHER people. But now? You’re in it too! So hilarious all that training so many of us have had to take – don’t you dare click on that link or share that info because data must be kept secure. LOL. I’m sure the Dogebois will do everyone a solid and not misuse their access or their info in any way. And they probably already destroyed their only copy. I’m fine with all my financial and every everything being in their hands. They’ve got mad skillz and pure motives.
Bootlicking 101: The Art of the Self-Serving Sellout
What makes someone like Bessent, with his for-serious-real financial credentials, hand over the keys to the financial kingdom to a group of Musk acolytes? The same thing that motivates most MAGA enablers: ambition, self-preservation, greed, doesn’t matter who gets hurt as long as it’s not me. You know the crowd. Or maybe he had no choice!
Hahaha.
When asked about tensions with Musk's team on a Bloomberg podcast, Bessent made his allegiances crystal clear: "Elon and I are completely aligned."5
Not aligned with the Constitution. Not aligned with the Treasury's institutional mission. Not aligned with the five former secretaries (of the U.S. Treasury) warning of catastrophe. Aligned with Elon Musk.
Thank you, Borowitz, for bringing to my attention: "quisling." 6
see: dictionary.cambridge.org
quisling: (n.) a person who helps an enemy that has taken control of his or her country
Democracy's Terminal Diagnosis: The Techbro Takeover
What's happening at the Treasury represents a dangerous new phase in America's democratic decline. We've moved beyond mere corruption (though there's plenty of that) to something potentially more devastating: the wholesale surrender of government to unaccountable private interests.
The DOGE team lacks proper security clearances, financial regulatory knowledge, or even basic government ethics training. But they’ve got access to systems that control trillions of dollars in payments and contain the sensitive financial information of every American. Including yours.
The Treasury Department is being occupied not by a foreign power, but by an oligarchic force that views democratic institutions as mere inefficiencies to be disrupted. And there go the MAGAts thinkin’ Elon (who invented cars AND electricity) is doing some fantastic shit. Until it hurts them (and then they post a bunch of whiny-ass “but I voted for you three times” shit all clogging up my feeds).
What Can We Do?
Beyond adding "The Ballad of Bessent the Bootlicker" to the ole protest playlist, there are actions concerned citizens can take:
Contact your Senators: Especially the 15 Democrats + 1 Independentish who voted for Bessent's confirmation. They have oversight responsibility. 7
Support Transparency Organizations: Groups like Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) are filing FOIA requests about the DOGE team's activities. 8
Spread Awareness: Most Americans don't understand the technical details of Treasury operations, but they do understand the risk of putting vital government systems in unqualified hands.
Remember These Moments: When the tribunals eventually come (as history suggests they will for failed autocratic experiments), we'll need detailed records of who enabled what.
Until next time, keep your democracy on life support and your guillotine jokes tastefully vague.
JJ-TaxNinny is the chief financial satirist for Democracy on Hospice. All Wag Team music is produced by Bark Bytes Productions and should be shared widely.
Comments (1,023)
MobyFan76: First comment! The Bessent Bootlicker ballad is your best yet. Can we get sheet music?
EconomicsProf: As someone who has worked with Treasury systems, I cannot overstate how dangerous this DOGE access is. It's like giving your drunk neighbor the nuclear codes because he's "good with ‘puters and things."
DemocracyWatcher: Adding Bessent to my traitor trading card collection. Gotta catch 'em all!
ConcernedCPA: The "GDP stored on a hard drive in Shanghai" line made me laugh (then cry into my tax code).
#SorosToSellout #BessentBootlicker #QuislingQuotient #TreasuryTurncoat #DOGEconomics #ElonsMinions #FollowTheBootprints #WallStreetWeasels #TaxpayerBetrayal #MainframeMAGA #CryptocratsInCharge #MusketeersRunningTheBank #AlgorithmicTreason #TechBroTakeover
https://apnews.com/article/bessent-confirmed-treasury-secretary-2ca8eb1c882d094b032584adf1a95c48
https://abc17news.com/money/cnn-business-consumer/2024/11/25/huge-relief-ceos-exhale-after-trump-taps-scott-bessent-to-lead-treasury/
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/10/trump-payment-system-treasury
https://apnews.com/article/treasury-doge-musk-read-only-access-489231c6db1a9f07fc68f9f08803f815
https://b17news.com/elon-and-i-are-completely-aligned-on-cutting-waste-says-treasury-secretary-bessent/
The 15 Democratic senators who voted in favor of Bessent's confirmation are:
Tom Carper (Delaware)
Chris Coons (Delaware)
Joe Manchin (West Virginia)
Jon Tester (Montana)
Mark Warner (Virginia)
Maggie Hassan (New Hampshire)
John Hickenlooper (Colorado)
Michael Bennet (Colorado)
Dianne Feinstein (California)
Angus King (Maine)
Tim Kaine (Virginia)
Chris Murphy (Connecticut)
Jeanne Shaheen (New Hampshire)
Jacky Rosen (Nevada)
Catherine Cortez Masto (Nevada)
And the independentish MAGAT
Kyrsten Sinema (Arizona)
Transparency organizations are actively seeking information about the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) through Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests:
Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW): Filed FOIA requests to obtain records on DOGE's formation and activities.
Campaign Legal Center (CLC): Submitted FOIA requests to the "U.S. DOGE Service" and 28 additional agencies to shed light on DOGE's role within the executive branch.
American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): Filed FOIA requests with over 40 federal agencies seeking transparency about DOGE's access to Americans' sensitive personal information.
American Oversight: Filed a lawsuit to obtain Elon Musk's communications related to DOGE's efforts to purge the federal workforce.
Supporting these organizations can help promote transparency and accountability regarding DOGE's operations.
The Ballad of Bessent the Bootlicker
Well, he started out countin' numbers, playin' it straight, Shortin' the pound, smilin' big, buildin' his fate. Worked for Soros, oh, what a twist, Now he's Elon's golden-fingered little capitalist. He got the call, Trump said "We need a man!" Someone with a suit, a plan, and a sucker's hand. Bessent stepped up, said "Lemme at that loot!" And sold the Treasury out to some pimply recruits. Ohhh, Bessent! (What'd he do?!) Gave the Treasury keys to a crypto crew! (Oh no!) They said "We'll just audit, just takin' a peek," Now half the banks are "suspiciously" weak! Ohhh, Bessent! (What's his game?) Selling out his country for power and fame! Elon's code kids don't know what they're doin'... But hey, at least his stock options are boomin'! They handed DOGE the Treasury's codes, Said "Don't touch nothin'"—yeah, that's a joke. Next thing ya know, payments got stalled, And USAID just flat-out got walled. The veterans wait for their checks in vain, While Elon's kids run "tests" on the mainframe. Five Secretaries rang every alarm, But Bessent just said, "What's the harm?" Ohhh, Bessent! (What'd he do?!) Replaced economists with a Reddit crew! (Oh no!) They said "It's just software, let's run some AI," Now GDP's stored on a hard drive in Shanghai! Ohhh, Bessent! (What's his trade?) Making sure Elon's taxes get delayed! He says, "It's all fine, the system's intact," As Wall Street bets on the next cyberattack! "Our Democracy is Under Siege..." Said five Treasury vets, beggin' Congress please. But ol' Bessent just flashed a grin, Said, "Relax, y'all, the algorithm's in." Now the courts are warm, tribunals are set, And Bessent's lookin' mighty upset. Wants to say, "Elon made me do it!" But we all saw him lickin' that boot! History's harsh, it don't forget, Quislings get one fate, my bet. They'll write his name in the traitor's book, Right next to the guy who sold us to crooks. Ohhh, Bessent! (Where's he now?!) Somewhere watchin' his empire go down! (Oh no!) Elon's got Mars, Trump's got parole, And Bessent's got nowhere to go. Ohhh, Bessent! (What's his fate?) Probably hidin' out in a rogue tax state! They'll print his name right under 'Quisling,' As just another traitor in history's ring.