Tokens Always Get Spent: A Dark Carnival of Political Reality
Honorary Whiteness™ Meets Its Expiration Date
Step right up.
The greatest show in political theatre is now playing under the MAGA big top. Watch in amazement as perfectly intelligent people convince themselves that the leopards will eat every face but theirs!
Special thanks to The Opinionated Ogre for the inspiration. The Ogre’s "Brown People Shocked, SHOCKED!" captures the essence of this peculiar political phenomenon perfectly. So we put it to music.1
The Yankoboop.
Play it. Then play it again. And again. Tokens Always Get Spent.
Now Playing on All(ish) Platforms
Spotify (Regulatory Compliance Mix)
Apple Music (Texas-Approved Edition)
MAGAversal™ Music ("Reality Enhancement" Mix)
MetaVerse Music (Truth Settings: Off)
Corporate Conscience™ ("Moral Compass Sold Separately")
PreemptivePivot Premium ("No Spine Required" Version)
Platforms have been community-moderated for maximum engagement. Truth settings may vary by jurisdiction. Not available where integrity is required.
Behind the Music
Welcome to our dark carnival, where every token gets its turn on the carousel of consequences. Today's featured attraction: watching the fascinating phenomenon of people believing they can be "one of the good ones" in a movement explicitly built on excluding them.
Imagine it. You're at the carnival. The barker offers you a special pass - "Honorary Whiteness™" - good for one session of pretending structural racism doesn't exist. Side effects may include temporary blindness to obvious red flags and sudden onset of "But I'm different!" syndrome.
The Show Must Go On
Some say it's a tragedy. Others call it a farce.
I call it Tuesday in American politics.
Watch as perfectly reasonable people convince themselves that the movement openly calling for ethnic purity will somehow make an exception just for them.
Want the premium experience? Try our Compliance+™ subscription - now with 73% more selective amnesia per stream!
Coming Soon to a Reality Near You
Stay tuned for an upcoming maybe installment, where we'll explore the fascinating world of "But I'm One of the Good Ones!" syndrome and its inevitable collision with reality.
Dedicated to everyone who thought they could out-clever systemic racism. Spoiler alert: The house always wins.
#MAGAMinstrelShow #BootPolishingOlympics #FaceEatingLeopardFanClub #ThisWontHappenToMeCopium #PerformativePatriotism #CircusOfSelfBetrayal #StockholmSyndromeSpecial #CarnivalOfConsequences #ButImOneOfTheGoodOnes
Also See: The Grift Emporium
Soon to be featured in The Grift Emporium's "Bath Bombs & Betrayal" series. Now with 100% more carnival-themed cognitive dissonance!
Engage, Damn It
🎪 Drop a 🎭 if you've ever convinced yourself the leopards would make an exception just for you.
Comment below with your favorite self-delusion from the Dark Carnival menu! Mine is "But I have a [insert demographic] friend!"
💫 ENGAGEMENT CHALLENGE 💫
Comment if you're still waiting for your face-eating leopard appointment.
Share if you've mastered the Pick Me Dance.
Subscribe to join our elite "Tokens Anonymous" support group!
🎪 CARNIVAL CONFESSION TIME: What's your most embarrassing bootlicking moment? Wrong answers only (because let's face it, they're all wrong)!
Remember: Every like triggers a leopard, every share confuses a conservative, and every comment makes a white nationalist wonder if they've been too obvious.
Tokens Always Get Spent
Oh, they voted red, they voted white, Thought they'd keep their faces out of sight! "Those OTHER ones are the ones to fear—" Not me, I'm the GOOD one... or so I thought here... But the leopards came with tar and feather, And suddenly we're all birds of a weather! "Wait, no, not ME, I played your game!" Oh honey, they always meant the same... Tokens always get spent, my friend, They're useful 'til the bitter end! You polished their boots, here's your prize: A one-way ticket to "Your Kind's" goodbye! Tokens always get spent, it's true, Their whiteness was never meant for you! You'll cry, "But I did what you said to do!" Oh, sweetie... they were LYING to you! You licked those boots 'til your tongue went black, Convinced yourself they'd watch your back! But that MAGA hat's a Dresden crown, And now they're coming to take you down! You thought their hate was a simple trade, "Just aim at THEM, and I'll be saved!" But whiteness doesn't work that way Once they're done with them, you're next to pay! "Attention valued minority supporters! Your temporary passes to Honorary Whiteness™ have expired. Please proceed to the designated Processing Area. Remember: You knew what you signed up for!" Tokens always get spent, my dear, They're done with you, so disappear! No matter how you sang their song, Your skin betrayed you all along! Tokens always get spent, that's right, No bootlicking makes your skin turn white! You're just another face they'll chew Did you think they wouldn't come for you? So tell the others what you learned today, How you joined the feast... as the entrée. And next time when their dog whistles blow... Just... say... no.
