This War Brought to You by Daddy Issues and Low Poll Numbers

The time, she marches on.

Jun 23, 2025

The Ritual Continues

I’m back to that formerly welcome-departed Sunday morning routine: wake up, check the phone, discover democracy has shit the bed again. This time it's bombs dropping on Iran while we collectively hold our breath and wonder how a reality TV host with daddy issues became the arbiter of global stability.

Timothy Snyder reminds us of five sorta good-to-remember things about war.

Lookin’ at you, four and five!

Wars are unpredictable
Wars are easy to start and hard to stop

Military strikes? Sometimes necessary. Reasonable people have made compelling cases for when force serves legitimate strategic purposes. But this? This isn't strategery. This is a toddler with nuclear weapons having a meltdown because his approval ratings are in the toilet and Elon won't return his calls.

Every Accusation, a Confession

Remember all them "STOP WARS" signs from the campaign?

Remember Charlie Kirk tweeting about how Trump would bring "peace in Ukraine, Israel, and the Middle East again"?

The pattern is always the same: whatever they accuse others of doing, they're already planning to do worse. The man who ran on "no new wars" just started one because hims feelers got hurt.

The Attention Economy Goes Nucular

This isn’t geopolitics. It's the logical endpoint of social media narcissism. When your entire worldview revolves around being the main character, and the metrics show you're losing relevance, what's left except to blow something up?

We've reached the point where foreign policy is "go viral or go ballistic so you can go viral, please pay attention to him."

The Corporate Sponsors of Apocalypse

This production brought to you by:

Unresolved daddy issues
Plummeting approval ratings
A desperate need for attention
And viewers like you, who probably thought fascism would be quieter

Here We Are Again

The protesters are already in the streets outside Trump Tower and the White House. The signs read "Trump is a war criminal" and "Stop the war in Iran." Some of us are doom-scrolling while Rome burns, rating our own apocalypse on Yelp.

I’m not surprised. I’m exhausted. I’m holding my breath while a man-baby with access to nuclear weapons throws tantrums on social media and calls it foreign policy.

What Now?

So, the death throes of a dying democracy, sponsored by the military-industrial complex and a narcissist who can't handle not being the center of attention for five fucking minutes. Made music that’s kinda funny to cry-laugh with.

The YankoBoop. Right here. Two minutes. C’mon. Play her.

How are you holding up?