The Devil Got Into Tucker

Behind Every Throne There's a Bow Tie (A Cautionary Tale)

In This Installment of Mixtape on the Titanic

When the Prince of Darkness discovers he's been outmaneuvered by a guy in silk pajamas making TikToks at 3 AM. Even Hell's organizational chart needs updating.

Satan discovers he's the junior associate in Tucker's pajama-based empire.

The Players

Starring:

• One increasingly outmaneuvered Devil (currently updating his LinkedIn)

• Tucker's mysteriously immobile bow tie

• A collection of "totally unofficial" advisory roles

• Several late-night TikToks that made demons flee in terror

• Hell's "Who's Actually in Charge?" flowchart (now with 73% more confusion)

• Frannie's patented "I see what you did there" side-eye

The YankoBoop

Here it is.

For your playing.

The Devil Got Into Tucker.

Special Guest Appearances By:

• Satan's increasingly concerned HR department

• The Shadow Cabinet's Shadow Cabinet

• Multiple "definitely not interested in any positions" statements

• One pineapple with questionable intentions

• Hell's organizational consultant (currently in therapy)

The Situation

It's another quiet night in Hell. Satan's catching up on paperwork, demons are doing their usual torment rounds, when suddenly - through a haze of Xanax and silk pajamas - Tucker Carlson starts broadcasting conspiracy theories that make even the Prince of Lies say "Whoa, dial it back a bit."

The Plot Thickens

What happens when the original Master of Deception realizes he's been outfoxed by a guy whose idea of casual wear is a $1000 bow tie? Turns out even Hell has standards, and they're getting lower by the TikTok.

Behind The Scenes

Featuring bonus tracks:

• "Just an Advisor (wink wink)"

• "No Official Role (But Everyone Calls Me Anyway)"

• "Power Behind the Bow Tie"

• "The Puppetmaster's Waltz (In Silk PJs)"

The Reviews Are In

"★★★★★ - Made Beelzebub question his career choices" - Infernal Times "Better than the original fall from grace" - Heaven's Herald "Could use more bow tie action" - Underworld Weekly "What just happened?" - Satan's HR Newsletter

Context

This piece lampoons Tucker Carlson’s dive¹ into conspiracy-laden territory and the sinister undertones of his influence, imagining a scenario where the Devil himself realizes he’s been outdone. The satirical narrative highlights Tucker’s pivot to sensationalism, his antics post-Fox News, and his penchant (French pronunciation required) for stirring controversy while masking it behind that trademark bow tie and fauxtucker concern. The premise playfully exaggerates his “advisor-like” role to dark forces. Even Hell’s hierarchy isn’t immune to his media-driven chaos.

This “musical exploration” is a critique of unchecked power and the dangerous overlap of entertainment, politics, and propaganda.

Now available on Spotify, Apple Music, and wherever else unofficial power structures get documented.

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#NoOfficialRoleNeeded #DevilWentDownToFoxNews #BackseatDrivingTheApocalypse #ShadowCabinetShenanigans #TuckerOutmaneuveredSatan #HellNeedsAnOrgChart #UnofficallyRunningThings #BowTiesBeatBrimstone #PuppetmasterInPJs #WhoNeedsATitleAnyway #AdviserToThePrinceOfDarkness #SilkPJsMeanBusiness #HellsHRNightmare #DevilDidntReadTheFineprint #PutinsPadHasGreatWiFi #JustAskingQuestions

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The Devil Got Into Tucker

The Devil snuck* in late one night
Through Tucker's Xanax haze
Found him filming TikTok rants
In silk pajama phase
When Tucker felt some scratching marks
(Just like a cat café)
Said the Devil "Son, your demon bit's
More scripted than a play"

"I've ruled Hell since time began,
Spread chaos far and wide
But your 'Daddy spanking' tantrum speech
Made demons run and hide"
Tucker straightened up his bow
(That never seems to move)
Said "Watch me turn this demon tale
To ratings-gold and prove..."

Tucker, point your phone cam now
Your YouTube views will soar
While Frannie rolls her feline eyes
And Phoebe hits the floor
If you win these viral clicks
Will make your brand divine
But if you lose, you might just have
To stick to facts this time

The Devil pulled his best tricks out
(Some classic hellish fare)
But Tucker grabbed his mic and made
Sweet Satan stop and stare
He turned a basic mic adjust
To something folks can't share
While floating islands made of trash
Danced round without a care

Old Satan watched in pure shock as
Tucker's tales took flight
Where demons feared to spread such tales
He broadcast every night
Till Hell itself sent memos up:
"This show's too weird by far"
And Tucker just kept ranting while
His ratings jumped the shark

Chaos on the Fox News set
(Till that got undone)
Now he streams from Putin's pad
Where fact-checks cannot run
Moby watches from afar
His wisdom pure and true:
"When Tucker talks of demon fights,
Just Boop and change the view"

The Devil packed his briefcase up
Said "Kid, you've won this round
Your conspiracy theories make
My lies sound pretty sound"
But Tucker barely noticed as
He planned his next big scare
With Phoebe filming TikToks of
His demon-scractched derriere

*snuck - I know it’s “sneaked” - I needed the single-syllable word. It’s ok.

1. https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/tucker-carlson-claims-he-was-attacked-by-a-demon/