The Best Things, Believe Me, Nobody Has Better Things
A Musical Guide to Alternative Facts (Now With Extra Reality Denial)
In this installment of Mixtape on the Titanic
When facts become optional and truth goes on holiday.
WAG TEAM presents a musical journey through the parallel universe where windmills cause cancer, birds are government drones, and reality is whatever you just read on Truth Social.
Starring
Your uncle's entire Facebook feed
Several perfectly legitimate medical suggestions from non-doctors
Multiple instances of "Do your own research (but not like that)"
Democracy's growing collection of stress ulcers
Moby's "I literally can't even anymore" face
Special Appearances
The Deep State's Crisis Actor Chorus Line
Q's Greatest Hits (Still Coming Any Day Now™)
The Horse Paste Appreciation Society
Several very real doctors from Canada (you wouldn't know them)
Truth Social's Fact-Checking Department (Currently Vacant)
The YankoBoop
Play it right here. You can also stream it, but why?
The Best Things
Maybe Featuring Bonus Tracks Later
"Bamboo Ballots in Arizona" (The Extended Election Denial Remix)
"But Hunter's Laptop Though!" (feat. The Whataboutism Orchestra)
"Space Lasers Over Georgia" (The Jewish Space Laser Corps Mix)
"My Perfectly Normal Bleach Injection" (Medical Advice Disclaimer Mix)
Now streaming on Spotify, Apple Music, and wherever else reality gets its own special interpretation.
Thanks for reading Mixtape on the Titanic! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work while we await RFK Jr.'s appearance to authenticate this playlist.
#AlternativeFactsGotTalent #BirdsArentRealButTheConspiraciesAre #ChemtrailsInTheKeyOfQ #DeepStateTheMusical #FactsHaveALibralBias #GiveMeLibertyOrGiveMeIvermectin #HillaryDidTheMelody #ImDoingMyOwnMusicalResearch #JewishSpaceLaserLightsShow #KrakenKaraoke #MobyJudgesYourFactChecking #NowhereNearTheSoundOfMusic #OwnTheLibsLosePerspective #PurebloodPlatinumHits #QAnonGrammy #RealityHasAPlausibilityProblem #SorosKeyChanges #TrustMeBroCore #VoterFraudVocalFry #WindmillCancerWasTheEasyPart
The Best Things, Believe Me, Nobody Has Better Things
Red hats on patriots and flags made in China Truth posts on Discord and memes from Carolina Deep state conspiracies tied up with strings These are a few of their favorite things
Space lasers Jewish and birds that aren't real now Windmills cause cancer and clouds full of chemtrails 5G that gives you electromagnetic stings These are a few of their favorite things
Libs getting owned and their feelings so tender Hunter's laptop and tweets about gender Great walls that Mexico's paying with springs These are a few of their favorite things
When the facts bite When the truth stings When the news proves wrong They simply remember their favorite things
And then they just double down strong Bleach injections and horse deworming prescriptions Bamboo in ballots and storm predictions Q drops that promise the best awakenings These are a few of their favorite things
When Big Tech bans When courts rule When polls look bad They simply remember it's all just fake news And then they don't feel so mad
Rallies in summer with flags waving proudly Truckers who convoy and honk extra loudly Golf carts in Florida, golf course deal things These are a few of their favorite things
When facts arise When courts say no When truth breaks through They simply remember alternative facts And then they know what to do