Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants
When Lady Liberty Has to Hold Your Beer: (Another) WAG TEAM Lament
In this installment of Mixtape on the Titanic: When your perfectly normal weekend includes misplaced nuclear codes, government shutdowns that weren't, and one very tired Lady Liberty holding everybody's beer.
Inspired by Jeff Tiedrich's brilliant chronicling of our descent into administrative chaos (seriously, go subscribe to "everyone is entitled to my opinion" - it's the sanity you need in these befuddled times).
Starring:
One increasingly something executive branch
Several missing nuclear codes
Congress's Pokemon Go achievements
Moby's growing concerns about everything
The Diet Coke button (last known location of critical documents)
Special appearances by:
Lady Liberty's last nerve
The ghost of functioning government
Several tired fact-checkers
One very beautiful shutdown that absolutely everybody says is beautiful
Democracy's stress headache
On Spotify, Apple Music, and wherever else fine constitutional crises are documented.
Shoutout to Jeff Tiedrich for dreaming up the notion of "Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants." Check his Substack "everyone is entitled to my own opinion"— the gold (crypto?) standard for keeping track of our national descent into whatever this is.
The YankoBoop
Play it. You might like it. You might not. Low risk. Sundowning Granpa Befuddlepants.
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#LadyLibertyHoldMyBeer #WhereTheNukesAt #BeautifulShutdownsOnly #BefuddledButBeautiful #AdministrativeFacepalm
Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants
Wandering the halls of a shuttered nation No budget passed, just pure aggravation Let's burn it all down, and then who can we blame?" (Spoken ramble) "Nobody shuts down better than me..." Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants Leading dear USA in one last dance While Elonia tweets from his rocket throne And government workers get sent back home "...but her emails though" The tech bros are bidding on breathable air While statues of liberty say "hold my beer" The Jenga stack bills keep tumbling down As handlers chase grandpa all over town "The ratings are tremendous, Absolutely tremendous..." Oh, the walls keep crumbling But the clicks keep coming While fact-checkers type Till their fingers bleed And somewhere in Congress They're playing Pokemon While government services Go to seed Security footage at quarter to none Shows grandpa explaining how windmills aren't fun The kids in the gallery drawing their memes While democracy crumbles at the seams "Person, woman, man, camera, TV..." Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants Trading the future for one more chance While billionaires laugh from their yacht parade And we're left holding this fire sale charade "...but her servers though" "The most beautiful shutdown, everybody says so... We're winning so much, you'll get tired of winning... Who moved my executive time? Has anybody seen my nuclear codes? I had them right here next to the diet coke button..."