Stop Hitting Yourself!
Today's Global Gaslighting
2025.02.19.
Reality is jumping the shark.
On February 7, 2025, a draft contract marked "Privileged & Confidential" landed on President Zelensky's desk. The Telegraph (Really - the UK Telegraph - link is in the footnotes) reports that this contract requires Ukraine to hand over (to the Donold) 50% of its recurring revenues from resource extraction plus half the financial value of all new licenses issued to third parties for future resource development.
The payback, if the terms were implemented, would exceed the reparations imposed on Germany at the Versailles Treaty. But unlike the post-WWI penalties imposed on the defeated aggressor, these demands target the nation that was invaded.
Elements of the contract include:
US control over Ukraine's critical minerals
Rights to ports and infrastructure
Control over oil and gas resources
A "lien on such revenues" in favor of the US
New York law governance "without regard to conflict of laws principles"1
The contract includes a lien on revenues that prioritizes US payment claims above all other financial obligations, including the basic needs of Ukraine's citizens.
Here’s the YankoBoop. Right here.
Stop Hitting Yourself! The Ukraine Self-Invasion Samba.
The contract's arrival coincides with claims that Ukraine "should have never started" the war.
Really.
What an interesting revision of February 24, 2022. That’s when Russian tanks crossed the Ukrainian border at Luhansk Oblast.
The proposed terms go beyond mere financial demands. The US would gain "sovereign immunity" and near-total control over Ukraine's commodity and resource economy, with exclusive rights to "establish the method, selection criteria, terms, and conditions" of all future licenses and projects.
President Zelensky himself had proposed giving the US a stake in Ukraine's rare earth elements and critical minerals, hoping to smooth the way for continued arms deliveries. The response was this comprehensive demand for economic control that, as The Telegraph notes, appears to have been written by private lawyers rather than the US departments of state or commerce.
Let’s Review.
Jeff Tiedrich explains it all much better than I. Check out “elderly golfer blasts Ukraine for invading itself.”2
In case you forgot: Russia invaded Ukraine.
MAGAmafia is now wanting payback. Just turn over control of the ports, infrastructure, mineral rights, everything else to the U.S. forever and ever amen.
It's the kind of deal you can't refuse. Mainly because you're not invited to the negotiations about your own country's future.
Really.
“Peace talks" about Ukraine's future are proceeding in Saudi Arabia without Ukrainian representation at the table.
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/europe-says-it-is-committed-ukraine-ahead-russia-us-talks-2025-02-18/
https://theconversation.com/ukraine-isnt-invited-to-its-own-peace-talks-history-is-full-of-such-examples-and-the-results-are-devastating-250049
No More Marshall Plan
Remember the Marshall Plan? When we rebuilt Europe after WWII because having stable democratic allies is actually good for America? Well, forget all that. The new plan is "Fuck you, pay me."
So here we are in 2025, watching the "America First" crowd team up with Russia to extort a struggling democracy while blaming it for its own invasion. It would be hilarious if it weren't terrifying AF.
Coming soon: A bold new plan to rename oxygen as "Trump Air." Stay tuned for the licensing details.
#StopHittingYourself #UkrainianSelfInvasion #GaslightingGoesGlobal #PeaceTalksWithoutPeace #MarshallPlanMyCasino #PaybacksAreHell #RussianTanksWereAHoax #VictimBlamingWorldTour2025 #ExtortionAsPolicy #TrumpAirJustBreathe #NoRefundsNoReturns #SelfInvasionForDummies
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Stop Hitting Yourself! (The Ukraine Self-Invasion Samba)
Hey Ukraine, why you hitting yourself? (Just look what you made Russia do!) You shoulda made a better deal (Now pay up what you owe, it's true!) Three years ago you started this war By getting in the way of tanks Now gimme fifty percent of your door That's how a protection racket ranks! But Daaaaddy, they won't pay their debts (Even though we didn't lend!) Guess we'll have to make some threats (That's how negotiations end!) Stop hitting yourself, Ukraine! (You brought this on your own!) First you'll feel some pain Then I'll take what you own Just sign right here on my deal (It's only half your GDP!) Don't make this mess too real Just pay your debts to ME! Didn't get invited to peace talks? (Why would victims get a say?) While Marco and Vlad take their walks Your future's being signed away Feed your kids? Well, maybe later First you gotta pay my fee Think of me as your curator Of everything you used to be! Nice country you got here... Shame if something happened to it... Again... What do you mean "But you supported the invasion"? What invasion? You did this to yourself! Now about those mineral rights... You can't negotiate with tanks? (Should've tried a little harder!) Now you're getting zero thanks For making Vladimir work harder Fifty percent of everything Plus interest on what you owe That's why mobsters always sing "The protection money's got to flow!" Stop hitting yourself, Ukraine! (Your fault for being there!) This really isn't a game (Though I'm playing it unfair!) Just sign away your nation To cover what you owe That's my interpretation Of quid pro quo! You think this is extortion? No no no... This is just good business! Like when I ran those casinos... Into the ground... Now about those resources... What's yours is mine And what's mine is... MINE!