Kayfabe Kingdom (The Sovereign Nation Smackdown)
Foreign Policy Gets the WWE Treatment: A WAG TEAM SPECTACLE
In This Installment of Mixtape on the Titanic
Territorial disputes meet wrestling theatrics, and the UN turns into Monday Night Raw.
WAG TEAM presents a musical exploration of the blurred line between foreign policy and professional wrestling. Because who needs diplomacy when you’ve got kayfabe?
Inspired by Heather Cox Richardson’s comparison of modern political spectacle to professional wrestling , Kayfabe Kingdom explores what happens when the line between reality and entertainment becomes just another storyline. Highly recommended.1
Starring
One leader practicing his heel turn backstage.
Greenland in the foreign heel role (they didn’t sign up for this).
Panama booked for the triple-threat match.
Moby’s side-eye from the sidelines of international chaos.
Democracy as the ref… who might be dead.
Special Appearances Maybe
The UN rulebook—now torn to shreds.
China’s run-ins from backstage (their timing is impeccable).
Democracy’s stretcher job.
Putin’s entrance music (guess whose side he’s on).
Possible Sequels
“But Whose Side Is He On?!”
“Monday Night Armageddon”
“Greenland’s Heel Turn”
“The Ref is Dead (And So Is Sovereignty)”
The Yankoboop
Play it right here. Right up in this bitch. Here.
Kayfabe Kingdom.
Context
Ripped(!) from recent headlines of territorial disputes involving Greenland, Panama, and Canada, and Trump’s bombastic social media posts reimagining diplomacy as a wrestling match, Kayfabe Kingdom explores the parallels between neo-kayfabe and modern autocratic strategies. Political leaders, like wrestling heels, blur the line between reality and performance, leaving citizens wondering if what they’re seeing is real—or just another part of the show.
In this new kayfabe-driven reality, truth becomes as scripted as a cage match, and sovereign nations are the props. Meanwhile, democracy sits in the corner, tapping out.
#KayfabeKingdom #SovereignSmackdown #DiplomacyMeetsWWE #UNCageMatch #DemocracyOnTheMat #GreenlandsHeelTurn #TheRefIsDead #GeopoliticalWrestling #RealityVsKayfabe #WhoseSideIsHeOn
Now streaming on Spotify, Apple Music, NATO's "Countries We Wish Would Stop" compilation, and wherever else diplomatic breakdowns get their theme songs.
Kayfabe Kingdom (The Sovereign Nation Smackdown)
McMahon taught him well back in WWE days How to work the crowd in oh so many ways Now he's booking countries for the biggest show Is it real or kayfabe? Nobody knows
The marks in Congress can't tell anymore What's shoot, what's work, what's headed for their door (While Putin's practicing his heel turn backstage) Welcome to the Kayfabe Kingdom!
(Where reality's just part of the work) Every threat's a promo, every tweet's a shoot Till the whole world's getting worked Are we buying tickets to Armageddon?
Or is this just one more show? When the championship belt Is the whole damn world And nobody calls the blows
Greenland's getting heat as the foreign heel Canada's face turn wasn't part of the deal Panama's booked for a triple threat match While China's doing run-ins from the back
The UN's rulebook's torn to shreds Like a ref that's suddenly dead And democracy's selling the stretcher job
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! In this corner, weighing in at countless billions And in this corner... The Man Who Turned Politics Into Pro Wrestling!
BAH GAWD, IS THAT PUTIN'S MUSIC?!
Baltic cables snap like turnbuckle rope While Finland works a angle with no hope Georgia's doing spots in the midcard show As sovereign nations job row after row
The world order's selling like it's 1-2-3 While Tucker cuts a promo on RT (Somebody check if this is still kayfabe...)
Down in the Kayfabe Kingdom (Where truth taps out to the work) Every war crime's just a gimmick Till the missiles start to shoot Is it still sports entertainment
When the world's about to blow? And reality's doing the job To one last scripted show "Wait... who's booking this territory?"
"And why is Putin holding the book?" [Sound of democracy getting buried alive] "BUT WHOSE SIDE IS HE ON?!"