I didn't get into Stanford. My dad didn't storm the capitol (then).
He didn't storm it later either; too old I guess. (Ba dump bump)
When I didn’t get into Stanford, my (proud-does-not-begin-to-capture-it-alumnus) dad just kept on not giving them any money. Harvard sends Barron the thin envelope and BAM!
The Great Executive Order Tantrum Trilogy of 2025 (yippee!)
1- 🧾 Yank Harvard’s tax exemption
File under things that require a visual: HARVARD, YOU UP?
(Right here. Play my video. It’s 3:28 well-spent. I’m learning one new skill every weekend and this had that weekend’s skill. Tell me in the comments what you think the new skill in this video is.)
My college’s homecoming game was against Harvard FFS. And now this turkey has me rooting for Harvard (and China, and covid).
And if we’re pulling tax exemption from Harvard—churches next, please.
But seriously—people: stop sending Harvard money.
Yes, great instinct. Now redirect it somewhere useful:
https://www.nationalpopularvote.com
2-🧃 Cut off all federal funding
Real quotation, probably:
“You didn’t let my son in, so you can’t have science now.”
He’s not punishing institutions. He’s punishing:
Cancer researchers (not to mention patients)
Public health departments (not to mention, like, you know, the PUBLIC)
Climate modelers (not to mention anyone who lives in the climate)
I could go on but I have to work tomorrow.
🧠 This is not brain drain. It’s a brain nuke.
You break the pipeline, you break the future.
“China is now celebrating Trump’s attack on Harvard...
Chinese universities are promising to unconditionally accept banned Harvard international students.”
🎯 So not only are we losing our minds... we’re handing most of the best ones directly to our greatest global competitor.
Because 70 million people couldn’t change the channel and/or were victims of the information/news deserts that we’ve allowed to overtake the nation. And we’ve de-funded public education. But in the interest of getting this post made today, I’ll stop.
One more tantrum thingy first.
3- 🌍 Ban international students
LOL okay—but...
🧾 How they gonna pay the bills?
When I was teaching in the business school at Texas A&M (Commerce—now renamed something more branding-optimized like East Texas A&M), the international students in the business school weren’t just pulling their tuition-and-fees-and-live-in-the-sticks-in-North-Texas weight—they were basically paying for Cletus’s and Jethro’s entire edu-muh-cations.
Mohammed and Abdullah?
They paid for Cletus.
And for Jethro.
And for Kayleigh, whose cousin Brax got the call to be “Interim Interim VP of Campus Facilities” for six whole months.
I’ve been in the registrar’s office.
I’ve sat through many an accreditation meeting (or heard the recaps thereof).
I’ve sat through many a self-congratulatory “yay, business school! Look at all these humanities departments we’re funding!” meeting.
📉 No internationals = no school for Cletus and Kayleigh
It’s not enough to wreck America’s reputation, alliances, and global currency status. No—he’s gotta torch institutions older than the U.S. itself just cuz that’s what he do.
Every minute he’s awake, he breaks something.
So here’s the B-Roll.
I didn’t get around to posting it, but now here it is. Because you need to hear what delusion sounds like in full reggaetronic glory.
🎧 “Bigly Aptitude” — the very stable byte track.
Voice of confusion. Beat of tyranny. Dad of the year.
Play it. Laugh-cry. Tell me if you figured out the new skill I learned that weekend.
#StanfordDidnt #HarvardDidnt #BarronsRevenge #MobysBRoll #BiglyAptitude #ExecutiveTantrum
📣 If this made you laugh, scream, nod like a tired civics teacher, or spit out your LaCroix:
🔁 Share it. Don’t let the next tantrum go undocumented.
🧠 Subscribe at www.democracyonhospice.com for more mixtape drops, rants, receipts, and reggaetronic ballads from the end times.
🗣️ Got thoughts on how to rebuild higher ed? Or just want to guess what new skill I learned in that video?
Drop it in the comments. I read them.
✉️ Civic-minded finger? Raised.
Your move.
🎶 COMING SOON:
“Hell Yeah, Cletus” — the baby bonus anthem you need to hear. You do. Really. Possibly see, depending on what skill I might add.
Breed 'em for a bonus, y’all!
Five grand and a half-box of meat.
No Wi-Fi, no healthcare, but sure—let’s pay folks to populate the wreckage.
It’s the MAGA lullaby for the post-policy age.
Stay tuned. It’s nearly trailer-ready.
#HellYeahCletus #BiglyBabies #MobysMixtape #StanfordDidnt #PostPolicyParenting