America Touched the Stove

(And Wall Street's Getting Burned)

🔥🚨 NEW YANKOBOOP ALERT 🚨🔥

America just had to touch the stove. And now? We’re all eating ashes.

📉 Markets tanking.
📈 Tariffs rising.
💸 Billionaires looting the economy like it’s a closing Kmart.
🍳 And tonight, we get a prime-time infomercial from the guy who just ran America’s credit card into the sun.

So before Trump gets up there and gaslights the country into thinking this is all part of some “yuge” plan, lemme present:

🔥🎶 "AMERICA TOUCHED THE STOVE" 🎶🔥
A WagTeam YankoBoop Original

💰 Donny’s 7th Bankruptcy—And We’re It!
🥚 The Cheap Egg Prophecy!
🚀 Elon Charging Us for Oxygen!
🔥 An Economy So Hot, It’s Melting Down!

Here it is. Right here. Play it.

Drop a 🔥 in the comments if you knew this would happen.
Drop a 🥚 if you sold out for cheap eggs and are now regretting life choices.
Drop a 💸 if you’re just waiting for China to repossess Florida.

#AmericaTouchedTheStove #WagTeam #Yankoboop #NOT

SOTU #EconomicDoomBallads #DystopianMixtape

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America Touched the Stove

They told us it was hot, but we had to see,
"What if the fire just sets us free?"
So we cranked up the gas, struck the match,
Now we sittin’ in the smoke, wonderin’ where the money at!

"Best economy ever! Greatest deals, folks!"

America touched the stove—
And now we licking the flame!
We put a conman in charge,
Then all surprised he rigged the game!
Oh Lord, oh Lord, the market’s fried—
But at least we owned the libs this time!
America touched the stove… and now we eating ashes.

Tariffs on China, but the shelves stay bare,
"Gotta shrink the government,"
But Elon owns the air?!?
"Trumpcoin’s gonna moon!"
They screamed online.
Now they sell their kidneys
Just to make the rent on time.

"Buy the dip! Buy the dip!"

Donny said, ‘Trust me, I’ve built an empire!’
Now the whole damn country’s caught on fire.
Six bankruptcies, still running the con,
Guess we’re number seven—congrats, everyone!

"It’s gonna be yuge! It’s gonna be yuge!"

He lost the steaks, he lost the school,
Now he's playing the Fed like a slot machine fool.
Took out a loan on the whole U.S.A.—
Now China’s repossessing Florida today.

"No refunds. No refunds."

America touched the stove—
And now we’re maxing out loans!
We bet it all on a wannabe king,
Now we’re eating the smog from his drone!
Oh Lord, oh Lord, we got no bread—
But at least we made sure the woke books was dead!
America touched the stove… and now we eating ashes.

And lo! The people were offered a choice:
Human rights, or cheaper eggs.
And lo! They chose the eggs.
And lo! A plague descended upon the chickens.
And the people, they did blame D.E.I.

"THEY TOOK OUR EGGS! THEY TOOK OUR EGGS!"

America touched the stove—
And now the whole house is on fire!
We let a grifter sell us a dream,
Now we’re all out of spare tires!
Oh Lord, oh Lord, the rent’s past due—
But at least we got cheap fast food!
America touched the stove… and now we eating ashes.